Last Night's Dream

It was the future… several months from now and my family and I were in India for the baby. We were at the clinic and the baby hadn’t been born yet but one of the nurses let it slip and referred to the baby by its gender… “he.”

So that clearly means I’m having a girl.

Hehe, I’m excited and preparing to have either!

The Serenity Prayer

Dear little baby growing on the other side of the world,

Hopefully one day when you are older you'll be able to read all of the entries in this blog and better understand the journey we took to bring special you into this world.

By now you've hopefully become a good-natured and well behaved young person (hehe) so you've probably heard me repeat things such as life lessons many times. And I've probably heard many times, "Daaaaddd, not this again!" Things such as:

1) Always treat people the way you would want to be treated

2) Family first and

3) We can't dwell on things we can't control... but we must learn from them and move on

Even at age 31, I am still learning how to accept things that happen to me which I can't control and your grandmother even remarked so today. For some, it's a life-long process. Take this week's episode, for instance. (And it's only Tuesday! ;_; )

Yesterday I was walking to my car after work. When I got to it I saw this:

Someone had stolen my tire right off my car and left me alone, stranded in a mall parking lot. Naturally, one's reaction is to get upset... which I was. I felt wronged and still can't believe that someone lacking that degree of morals and ethics would do that to another human being. But ultimately, this happened, I have to accept it and move forward. It is not worth dwelling over and thankfully I had my family to help me and support me. Also try to remember that things could always be worse. In my case, the thief could have taken the jack and left the bare wheel touching the ground which most likely would have done damage. However, regardless of one's problems, there is always someone else in the world that could be having a worse day than yours.

So as you can see this is a good lesson in a) treating others the way you would want to be treated, b) family first and c) not dwelling on things we can't control but learn from them and move forward.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Waiting

A few words of hope and solace for those who may be waiting for anything in life:

If ever there was a part of everyday life that almost everyone hates, it's waiting.

It's a shame because waiting is unavoidable, like death and taxes — and just about as popular.

Waiting in line...is barely tolerated. God help the person who tries to cut in.
Waiting while driving is even worse, breeding dangerous, irrational behavior.
We have a name for that: road rage.
Waiting causes impatience, anger, and stress. We have drugs for that.
We have special rooms for waiting. They're rarely happy places.
In short, waiting is almost always considered a waste of time. A bad thing.

But it doesn't have to be that way. If you have a smart phone, you've already discovered the joys of "continuous episodic computing." It makes waiting productive. Just please...not while you're driving.

With a change in attitude, waiting becomes an opportunity for exploration, a time for discovery.

A time to read, play, watch or listen, connect with friends, write.
Or simply a quiet space to catch up with yourself.
A good thing.

Source

It Is Written

"You see Saakshi: things are written, but you need to be attentive to the signs..."

The universe speaks to us. I remember when I was very young, still in the single digits and I was first learning about the 'mechanics' of how a baby was born. When I discovered how, I just knew that is not how I would be doing things even at such a young age. I had this feeling... this intuition. It's funny that even so young we have feelings and ideas about ourselves and the future. Are things written?

My journey to this point now really began almost 3 years ago in the Spring of 2008 when my grandfather died. Death is a part of life and with it, for some of us along with the season of Spring, brings renewal and spiritual cleansing. I was going through that with the loss of my grandfather but this loss was different. I had an awakening and could feel something calling me. One day around the time of this loss I went home and put on the week's Hearts of Space episode. It was titled "Planet India" and for some reason I kept playing it over and over and over again. It was just speaking to me and I would put India on the list of places in the world to visit next.

Fast forward to the Fall and I come across an article online about surrogacy in India and I start thinking about the hopes and possibilities of starting my own family. Almost a year later of doing research, one thing leads to another and I'm put in contact with a very special person, a guide, here in Canada who started his family with the help of a clinic in India. I decide I'm ready to tell my immediate family of my plans about what I've thinking about over the last year and that I've decided to pursue starting my family.

To start my journey, I take a road trip to Toronto for fertility testing so that I can send my reports to India. You'll probably laugh and think it's silly but along the way, I notice that God and the universe is speaking to me, letting me know I'm on the right path:

and

A few months later, my dad and I travel to India to meet with the clinic and introduce ourselves to India. I fell in love with it. I've been all over the world and have my favourite destinations but India took the top spot. The spirit and warmth of the people amidst the busyness and sheer size of the population, spoke to that feeling inside of me.

It's been a long time coming, waiting for that metaphorical train. But like the song says, it's well worth waiting. I've spent the last year and a half, kind of isolated myself from friends, being social, etc., because it's been such an up and down journey. It's not easy for most people who try this and it hasn't been for me or my family. I've had 6 attempts, 5 negative and 1 one positive but lost the little one in the first trimester. For all of those who are going through this and it seems like you can't go on, can't take any more, I'm now about to enter my 15th week of pregnancy! There is one healthy little baby growing and will be introduced to the world in August.

Quote taken from author Paulo Coelho's blog.

Happy early Valentine's Day!!!

Like A Star

Hi all,

I would like to send a care package with items to help with the pregnancy. I was just wondering if any others did this and which items were found to be most helpful?

Help a newbie out if you have a few minutes! Much thanks ^_^

UPDATE: I found these awesome butters and creams, slippers and towelettes that I will put together in a little basket. I hope she likes it!