I received news yesterday morning of the result: negative. Since then I've been having difficulty trying to express my thoughts and feelings into words.
Sadness.
This chapter closes and I will take the next several months to collect myself and think about what's next. Feeling many things like, why?, anger, confusion, sadness, motivation. Anxiety; I just want to hit the fast forward button to where I have that feeling of getting a positive result and working towards being a parent like I knew at one time. Everything has been done correctly and properly as far as I know, unsure why we had to try 5 times.
I would like to see how things go over the next few months with family, work, and in my mind I'd like to start the next chapter and go back to India tentatively for January or February. We'll see.
Sincere thanks to everyone who has shared their support with me. I will keep reading and keep following everyone's blogs; they inspire and make me happy and your blogs, as well as posts here have helped me gather myself when I've been feeling down and helped me feel not-so alone during those times.
I will keep updating my own blog when I have some news.
Thanks to all!
In the meantime, will keep dreaming...
So sorry to hear your news --take care of yourself and take some time to decide your next step. Best wishes
ReplyDeleteSorry for your negative news.
ReplyDeleteTake the time to listen to your feelings and when you are ready, dream again in big vibrant colors.
Until then, our thoughts are with you.
So sorry to hear your negative news. Never stop dreaming! good luck for the next few months, it will happen!!! all the best, we are thinking about you. Will & Michael
ReplyDeleteThis sucks! We are many people who has gotten the same message/phonecall as you. But! Don´t give up, I am absolutely sure your time will come.
ReplyDeleteTake some time, regroup and then on to it again.
Thinking of you!
/ Fredrik, Robert and Alwina
This sucks! The club of heartbroken. If you can take a break and feel renewed in the New Year, I think that is great! Time makes the anxiety lessen and the optimism grow.
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone... for the encouraging and supporting comments. I've been thinking about going back in November just to give another sample while the momentum is there. And then after that... everything in small steps. One tiny step at a time.
ReplyDeletedon't ever stop dreaming. your time will come. i know the negatives are heart breaking but each new try brings renewed hope and when you least expect it, it happens. it will happen for you. if you can go in november, go!
ReplyDeletefebruary is almost here.... how are you doing? i experience the same myriad of feelings as you all puncuated with the big WHY... which at this point has turned into WHEN. for us who follow the star and find inspiration from those who are living the dream i say hang on and enjoy the ride. you never know when it's your turn for the brass ring
ReplyDeleteThank you :) and thank you for checking with me! Things are going well thus far... I'm nearing the end of my first trimester! I have an upcoming new post soon as soon as I get my next ultrasound pictures and report. Happy new year! Hope all is well with you!
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