It Is Written

"You see Saakshi: things are written, but you need to be attentive to the signs..."

The universe speaks to us. I remember when I was very young, still in the single digits and I was first learning about the 'mechanics' of how a baby was born. When I discovered how, I just knew that is not how I would be doing things even at such a young age. I had this feeling... this intuition. It's funny that even so young we have feelings and ideas about ourselves and the future. Are things written?

My journey to this point now really began almost 3 years ago in the Spring of 2008 when my grandfather died. Death is a part of life and with it, for some of us along with the season of Spring, brings renewal and spiritual cleansing. I was going through that with the loss of my grandfather but this loss was different. I had an awakening and could feel something calling me. One day around the time of this loss I went home and put on the week's Hearts of Space episode. It was titled "Planet India" and for some reason I kept playing it over and over and over again. It was just speaking to me and I would put India on the list of places in the world to visit next.

Fast forward to the Fall and I come across an article online about surrogacy in India and I start thinking about the hopes and possibilities of starting my own family. Almost a year later of doing research, one thing leads to another and I'm put in contact with a very special person, a guide, here in Canada who started his family with the help of a clinic in India. I decide I'm ready to tell my immediate family of my plans about what I've thinking about over the last year and that I've decided to pursue starting my family.

To start my journey, I take a road trip to Toronto for fertility testing so that I can send my reports to India. You'll probably laugh and think it's silly but along the way, I notice that God and the universe is speaking to me, letting me know I'm on the right path:

and

A few months later, my dad and I travel to India to meet with the clinic and introduce ourselves to India. I fell in love with it. I've been all over the world and have my favourite destinations but India took the top spot. The spirit and warmth of the people amidst the busyness and sheer size of the population, spoke to that feeling inside of me.

It's been a long time coming, waiting for that metaphorical train. But like the song says, it's well worth waiting. I've spent the last year and a half, kind of isolated myself from friends, being social, etc., because it's been such an up and down journey. It's not easy for most people who try this and it hasn't been for me or my family. I've had 6 attempts, 5 negative and 1 one positive but lost the little one in the first trimester. For all of those who are going through this and it seems like you can't go on, can't take any more, I'm now about to enter my 15th week of pregnancy! There is one healthy little baby growing and will be introduced to the world in August.

Quote taken from author Paulo Coelho's blog.

Happy early Valentine's Day!!!