Waiting

Today is the 2 week date! Although still waiting to hear and not exactly sure yet when the test will be done.

Hoping for the best but also have to be prepared and plan for the worst.

Hopefully will hear soon!

Seven Days and One Week

Transfer was yesterday!

The countdown begins...

...would make for a nice belated birthday present.

...or early Christmas present.

...or present of the forever present!

Staring Up at Orion

Tonight was the Perseid meteor shower. It is actually still going on and will until the morning hours but a working man must get to bed!

Behind my backyard is a big park with a famous toboggan hill. My backyard actually looks very much alike to the background of my blog, even with the same looking tree. It’s a prime spot for stargazing and there are/were several people on the grass, looking up to the stars. I was able to see one meteor fly across the sky. Although only one, it was big and it was bright… so much that when I saw it, made me go, “Ooohhh!” out loud to myself. A girl who was walking by asked if I had seen anything yet and I told her what I saw.

Even though there have been many highs and many lows with this journey, the highs have been similar to that feeling, enough to prompt that feeling inside and make you go, “Ooohhh!” I am so happy for all the parents-to-be whose blogs I follow, soon about to leave for India in the coming weeks and months to be with baby/babies.

For me, I get that feeling right at the beginning when you dream, what you imagine, how you feel excitement and a sense of wonder for hopefully how everything will work out, the good things that lie ahead and what the future will be like.

Well after trying since last November, everything is new again for me with a new donor, a new cycle ahead about to start and new hope… I'm standing on the edge of a new precipice, wondering where what's next will take me.

Dreaming of Baby

No news but just more dreams...

This one from last night was just me and baby. I was carrying it around, holding it and just being completely and utterly in a state of happiness. It was a little baby boy.

I'm glad I can be happy with baby in dreams until it hopefully happens in waking life.

A New Hope, A New Light

Chatted with Dr. S today and a new friend, which made me emotional and teary-eyed to have people reach out half-way around the world even if just words in an e-mail.

Made me feel inspired, hopeful and recharged to remain positive.

Thank you.

Result: -

I heard from India today.

Cycle 4 was negative.

I was not surprised as I hadn't heard anything in over a week from when the result was supposed to be ready.

Will try again for cycle 5. I am not getting discouraged at all, only even more determined. My only low point was when I lost the baby in cycle 3.

Until Dr. M tells me to stop or I'm barred from ever going to India again, there will only be 1 outcome to all of this and that will be positive. I was a dad if only even for a weeks and I will be again.

North Star

So happy for my colleague, who's now in Kazakhstan and posted a picture today of holding up baby with a big smile and wearing a Canada t-shirt (to celebrate Canada Day yesterday).

Hopefully I will hear good news soon too, as well...

North Star

Where are you

Come guide me home

This love

Won't end

If I see you soon

I can't turn night to day

I can explain it

Oh please

North star, come bring me home

It's been a long time coming

But it's well worth waiting

And I raise my hands

And ask for nothing more

If we are of the same mind, finally

It was worth the calamity of you being mad at me

You know I've got feelings too they come stealing through

And batter me properly revealing my sensitivity

We don't get this time for free

Take my hand and promise me your love and honesty

And this soliloquy would not have been in vain

On our journey of life let's take the slow train

(It's been a long time coming)

Waiting for the train

(It's well worth waiting)

Take my hand

(And I raise my hands)

We don't get this time for free

(And ask for nothing more)

Hey...

It's been a long time coming

But it's well worth waiting

And I raise my hands

And ask for nothing more

It's been a long time coming...

This bright star shining...